the four right chords can make me cry

So much food!

Stuffed to the gills after the ladies meeting. But it was good.
Honestly, I felt really out of place, at first. I felt like a child. With the exception of me and serene, they were all married, some even had kids etc. Childbirth, breastfeeding, renovation, home decor, wedding photos, "kids these days", cooking, breast cancer, mother-in-laws were conversation fare. Errr ok? What am i supposed to say? But it was quite amusing, in a weird, surreal kinda way, no?
I can't quite imagine it, myself, grown up, married, in my own house, having kids. My mind reels. I can't even drive now. I'm still a child.
I've been trying to figure out where I belong in church. It can't possibly be here can it? Among people who recall me as a toddler??? Don't know if they were weirded out by me being there, but it was kinda... weird-but-amusing.
But like what i said to Marianne, the Truths from the Bible are eternal and relevant at any stage of life. And being around them was nice, there was this camraderie and openness.
Nevertheless I was quite stunned when Marianne asked why I don't join the BAYA (young adults). It never seemed like a viable option. Having been in youth group for as long as i can remember, having grown up there, the young adults just seemed so... adult. Foreign. Aloof. you know what I mean? Just never able to visualise myself among them, as an equal. But in a blink of an eye, 7 years have transpired, and i'm now in that category (more or less) by sheer default. But in my own eyes, I'm still just a kid...

I leave my teens this year and enter the wonderful limbo of twenty. Hopefully I'll sort it out before 21 comes around.

ps. weili: it would be GREAT if you could join me! I go every friday, just give me a call if you're free to go too. or you could wait till grace gets back from canada and we'll all go together =)

posted by beckyboo @ 11:00 PM